And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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