oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
