More tranny stories later!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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