the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
