ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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