yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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