Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
