...so i touched it.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
