apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
