My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
