I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
