My brain says no but my pants say off.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
