You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
