I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
