dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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