Kiss
Puke
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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