i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
