Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
