I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
