You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I FOUND THE LEGS
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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