is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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