i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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