when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
