ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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