His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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