Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
