I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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