I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
