escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
