The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
