well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
