They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
