I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
