how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
the day after is always just damage control
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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