See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
