Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
