Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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