Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You've changed since you got that strap on
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
