Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I have aggressive nipples.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
