that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
