You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
