I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
