yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
