i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
