if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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