Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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