His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
