I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
