i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
