idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
